
So, let me tell you about old Freddy boy.
He is a big, old, goofy, almost full German Shephard with tall, crooked, German Shepherd stand-up ears and a good sense of who he is and what he wants. He was rescued from the desert with a smaller dog named Barney. Thus the names, Fred and Barney. He is excellent at manipulating people with the cocked head and pitiful look in his big, brown eyes. (This is a tactic mastered by most German Shepherds.) He is big, slender, lighter colored, with a long body and a long tail, and likes to tell other dogs what to do, and especially tattle-tale on them. This becomes more intense as he becomes older. Then again, he often barks just to say, "Yay Life," or "Feed us already," or "Isn't this great that you are feeding us," or " I am, and I love being" Let's just say, he likes to talk. John says he takes after his mother, me.
When he first came into the "system," he stayed at the doggy orphanage. I took an immediate liking to Fred. As soon as I divorced my husband, I took him on as a foster. (good trade) After three years he was permanently placed with a lady in her nineties who had just had a German Shepherd transition. He had a girlfriend there, a female German Shepherd. There he lived very happily, until the elderly lady made her transition, about 3 years later.
The head of the rescue organization took him back, (That is always our policy.) and had him with many other dogs. I made the mistake of allowing myself to be convinced to go JUST to see him. I fell in love all over again, and now Fred is spending his senior years with me.
Fred has his own queen size tempurpedic dog bed in the living room, is always with other dogs, and almost always with people. He often needs help getting up, walks around, not with a lot of stability or strength, but with definite determination and single-mindedness.
It is an interesting phenomenon that Fred is a lot better at getting himself up when he thinks that I am not around. When he knows I'm close by, he gets himself in a sitting up position of sorts with his back legs sticking straight forward. Then begins to honk, honk, honk, (honking is a form of old dog barking) until he perceives that I have entered the room. At that point he ceases barking, his ears drop down, he turns his head towards me, and he gives me that cocked head, helpless look mastered by German Shepherds. I then help him get his back end up so he can walk around, and I go back to what I was doing. Shortly, he will have layed back down, gotten himself propped up again, and resume honking. Sometimes he will do that 3 or 4 times within 10 or 15 minutes, just to make sure that I am on the ball.
And although I, and some other humans might perceive his physical condition as something "wrong, unfair, bad, unwanted, or sad," it really doesn't seem to bother him at all. He has an excellent appettite. He barks for his food. He lets me know if anybody is trying to steal food or eat napkins, and often gives other dogs a good scolding for reasons unknown to man. (and probably God as well) The other dogs seem only mildly and momentarily disrupted from their course of action by his scolding, but he seems to think that he has effectively put a stop to their "obviously criminal" behavior.
He just seems happy, and I know that he will let me know when he's ready to shed this physical apparatus.
So as I grow in understanding, I learn from Fred. If Fred doesn't think there's anything wrong with his physical condition, why should I? Since I am going to have the privilege of experiencing the aging and transition of so many dear fur and feathered friends, I have set the intention to learn to see all states and conditions as the Well-Being that they truly are.
My animals have been a lot of the catalyst for my wanting to increasingly experience profound knowing of the continuity of all life, the connectedness of all life, and my relationships as eternal and only becoming more. And so, I want to see the physical aging of my animal companions as neither good, nor bad, but rather just part of the journey and a perfect expression of Infinite Intelligence and Love. For how can it be anything other than just that.
I am getting that I cannot know for them, that they are choosing just what they want, and I can trust them, which is to say trust the Infinite Intelligence that they are, to know without my assistence. I also love that expression "here by divine appointment." I realize that the fact of them being in my life means they are "here by divine appointment" and their choice, and all is unfolding as it should, and I never had, and never was meant to have the power to know for them. I'm really finally learning to "Let Go and Let God."
Copyright 2008 Linda A. Fields. All rights reserved.